Cat jokes
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
On reddit now. u/Long-Cat-4047. Also email is heavenskala1@gmail.com or Gowiththeflow349@gmail.com
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!