My cat's breath smells like cat food.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
On reddit now. u/Long-Cat-4047. Also email is heavenskala1@gmail.com or Gowiththeflow349@gmail.com
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
