Cant jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What can't orphans do?
Be homosexual because they have no home.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t go home.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?
Because it's family size! 😂