Canning jokes

What's the most fun a monk can have?

Nun.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

"There can be only Juan!"