Canning jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What’s the difference between bowling balls and babies?
You can unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.