Betty Pears jokes

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.

She literally died a crazy bitch.

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.