ANS jokes
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
Memes
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Why can't an orphan roleplay? Because they don't have parents.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.