ANS jokes
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.