And jokes
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
Watch my videos and find out!!! 🤸♀️🕯📷💰😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈