And jokes
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?
The Twin Towers gave up and let down.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.