Alzheimer's jokes

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?

The Who?

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?

Yeah, neither have they.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!