Agency jokes
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
NASA stands for Need Another Seven Astronauts.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.