Agency jokes
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
NASA stands for Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
