Afterward jokes

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?

A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.

My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.

Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."

Woman: "What's the bad news?"

Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"

Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"

Dr: "It's dead!"

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?

Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

Putting the nappy on afterwards.