Aftermath jokes

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

Where did Amy go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?

Stopping it with the shovel!

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.