Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Adhesive Jokes
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What is white and sticky?
Glue.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
Let’s stick together!
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
