Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
What's the diffrence between a piano,a pot of glue and a tuna fish? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna. What about the glue? I knew youd get stuck there
what is white and sticky ???? GLUE
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
