Daddydildo69

I was lying on the bed the other night and my mrs was playing with my cock trying to get it to go hard, she asked me whats the matter i said i just dont find women without hair very attractive

My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet

I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golfclubs

I must of drove that chihuahua 300 yards

My dad said wheres pickles the family cat i said im sorry to say hes in the sky, oh i see he passed away no i strapped him to 20 fireworks

What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents

My big green pedo machine

I asked my nan if she wouldnt mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping, she replied why the fuck would i want to sit in a bucket, so eventually she did and i took the best shit i have ever had

What has 2 wheels and screams A disabled i dropkicked down the stairs

I thought i had the best kd ratio in my fighter jet on battlefield then i heard about Mohammed atta

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death i cleary asked for jammy dodgers and got bourbons

What has 15 arms 9 legs 8 heads and 12 eyeballs

A mosque after i missile strike it