I was lying on the bed the other night and my mrs was playing with my cock trying to get it to go hard, she asked me whats the matter i said i just dont find women without hair very attractive
Daddydildo69
My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golfclubs
I must of drove that chihuahua 300 yards
My dad said wheres pickles the family cat i said im sorry to say hes in the sky, oh i see he passed away no i strapped him to 20 fireworks
My indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, i said ive smelt your fucking armpits youve got no chance
What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents
My big green pedo machine
I asked my nan if she wouldnt mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping, she replied why the fuck would i want to sit in a bucket, so eventually she did and i took the best shit i have ever had
What has 2 wheels and screams A disabled i dropkicked down the stairs
I thought i had the best kd ratio in my fighter jet on battlefield then i heard about Mohammed atta
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death i cleary asked for jammy dodgers and got bourbons
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises
Your mum
What has 15 arms 9 legs 8 heads and 12 eyeballs
A mosque after i missile strike it