When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me
Whats the difference between A pile of dead babies, and a ferrari... I dont have a ferrari in my garage.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys pants were half off!
What is yellow and can’t swim
A school bus full of children
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The mother board."
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights
Today i was asked to go out by 17 Woman. Well i was in the Woman bathroom💀
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
what do you call a blind german?
a notsee
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?
Little boys pants half off.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
