Worst Jokes Ever
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."