Worst Jokes Ever
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road?
To arrest a faggot for cross dressing.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day a woman knew her place.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.