Worst Jokes Ever

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?

She charges you for extra sauce!

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Why was Santa happy?

'Cause he has hoes.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?

Tragic Johnson.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!