Worst Jokes Ever
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.