Worst Jokes Ever

Pedophiles smell good.

Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.

They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?

I don't know... I'm from China.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

What's an edible part of a wheelchair?

A vegetable!