Worst Jokes Ever
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!