Worst Jokes Ever
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"