Worst Jokes Ever

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

Most states: "It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends." Alabama: "She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.