Worst Jokes Ever
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
What’s a rapper’s favorite tool?
A mic wrench.
What’s a rapper's favorite type of weather?
When it's Coolio!
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why do jeans always compliment your booty?
Because they’ve got your back!
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?