Worst Jokes Ever

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

In Soviet Russia,

You love Chinese and hate Chinese.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."

My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.

JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.

Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!

It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"

Donald Trump is, like, really orange.

Ass.

I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."

What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!