Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."