Worst Jokes Ever

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.

Ahmed is a bomber for the Twin Towers.

Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.

Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬

Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.

Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.

What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?

"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"

R.I.P. Floyd.

Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.

Why can’t the USA play chess?

Because they lost their two towers.

What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?

Seize your moment.

Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?

I.C.E. water.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.