Worst Jokes Ever

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.