Worst Jokes Ever

Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic.

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.