Worst Jokes Ever

A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

It was a failure because:

South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

Africans don’t know the word “food.”

Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.

Why do disabled people make good golfers?

Because they're always handicapped.

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

Trees are just bushes with lift kits.

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Why don’t rappers tell secrets?

Because they always end up DROPPING it.

You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good rappers always stand out!

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.