Whats fast and almost got away? A Mexican jumping the border.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell Shocked
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian
Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
What's the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What's the difference between eggs, and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty three times.
I dont like 9 11 jokes they have a tendency to crash and burn
