Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
