Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
You were tricked, loser. ;]
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.