Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.