Worst Jokes Ever
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
Ass.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!