Worst Jokes Ever

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?

132.513.531.332

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?

A blender.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.

What do you call a Paki in a microwave?

Pting pting pting.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

How do parents punish their blind kids?

They re-arrange the furniture.

Why did the orphan become a killer?

Because he knew they would not look for him.