Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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  • My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

    But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

    I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

    "I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

    "Boxing?"

    "No, ... hurdles."

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  • A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

    The little boy says, "I'm scared."

    The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

    Why do pedophiles never win a race?

    Because they are always coming in a little behind.

    A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.

    He orders a drink.

    I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

    I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

  • 5
  • My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."

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  • What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

    The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

  • 2
  • Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

    What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.