Worst Jokes Ever
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
What do you call a simp, Adrian?
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.