Worst Jokes Ever

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

Butt plug, oh butt plug, get out of me.

Butt plug, oh butt plug, get in my mouth, oh how I wanna taste you.

Oh, butt plug, oh butt plug, something is nutty.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

What does BLM stand for?

Biden loves millennials.

Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.