This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
Worst Jokes Ever
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Yo mama!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?
A. Because they don't know where home is.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.