my dad died lol

Why should you never fart in an Apple store? Because they have no Windows!

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator? A box of crackers.

gay guy? poo poo packed lol

Muslims Don’t need weed they’ve got the Koran You burn that sh*t and your gonna get stoned

i asked a chinese girl for her number, she said “sex, sex, sex! free sex tonight” i said, “wow!” then her friend said, "she means 666-3629

i would tell you a chemistry pun but i wont get a reaction

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

Why Did Sarah Fall Off A Skyscraper?

Because She Made Her Dad Mad.

A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”

Who do Chinese people name their kids

Throw the forks and knives down the stairs

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn’t carrort-all.

what did the mans dick say to the man

i just cant "hand"le it

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To Get To The Other Side

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do? A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn’t stand a chance against both of us