Worst Jokes Ever
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.