Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Cuz they are all dead.
A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!