so I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer. Now I don’t know what they were laced with but I was trippin all day.

There r 3 things wong wit dis world.

  1. Spelin

B. Maths

How do chinese people name there children? They thro pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, Ching Chong Chang.

if you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. what are they gonna do? tell their parents?

Immobile means I’m mobile in my books.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

To Write With a Broken Pencil Is pointless

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?


Where do pencils go on holiday?

Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

what is the hardest part of a vegetable… The wheel chair

What’s worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother’s vagina?

Realizing you only put in 4.

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

I gotta song for Hawaii baby you light up my world like no body els

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when your nailing them

How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall … Depends on how hard you throw them

Stephen Hawkins death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

conors life