What do you call a planet that poops-- Uranus

What’s large, grey, and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.

What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin’, they hatin’!

Have you ever seen the clown in walmart that hides from gay people? No… Really? Hahaha Grasshole

If life gives you melons, you’re proababli dyslexic

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as her self for halloween

If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks then he’ll have to call his pub a Mars Bar

WHat store has the most vegetables… A nursing home

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

Your momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

I find bananas very appeeling.

You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Heaven. Heaven who? Heaven fun over there?

1st Person: Do you want to know something funny? 2nd Person: Yeah, sure! 1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!

What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to? - The Monkees and Gorillaz

How did number 1 kindly make number 2? I got my ass kicked lets be friends ?

your mama so fat that all restaurants say maximum weight 240KG or your mum

I don’t trust atoms…They always make stuff up…