Worst Jokes Ever
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.
ISIS is the mark of the beast.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.