Worst Jokes Ever
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.
Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
Why can’t orphans work at AC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
What do you call a blind German?
A nat-zee.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?