Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
Worst Jokes Ever
What can you catch, but not throw?
What do people use more than you that is yours?
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
What goes up but never comes down?
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
What's your mom on?
Deez nuts!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
