Worst Jokes Ever
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?
A parent's signature was required.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.