Worst Jokes Ever
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
Did you know that water is wet?
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.