Worst Jokes Ever
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.