Worst Jokes Ever
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Why is Transgender Day of Visibility on April Fool's Day?
Because all trannies are clowns and no one takes them seriously.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.
I'm the autism.
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
What do Jews and Black people have in common?
Living off welfare checks.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.