Worst Jokes Ever
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.