Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
You're really special. But the R in special is silent.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
