Worst Jokes Ever
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck