1 000 jokes

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.