Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
the F in orphan stands for family
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Fuck it suicide is wrong but if you jump off a bridge and yell parkor its a failed stunt
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have it's perks.... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A kinder surprise
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel - Crackling of fire - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you - Cats purring
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Yall mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"