Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Want to hear a maze joke?
Never mind, too corny.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?
There's no way home.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.