Worst Jokes Ever

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

I was wrong about AISH workers having no value.

If you get to them soon enough after the murder, you can harvest a few organs.

I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.

So I told her to go stand in front of one.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

*walks in store* OH LITTle debhehe's!

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.