Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?

The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.

What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?

The thief knows what you have!

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.

What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?

Netflix and alcohol.

What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?

One is hope and the other is soap.

In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.

Heh.

Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?

Because it was a cunt.

How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?

Use he/him pronouns on him.

What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get it's stripes.

What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?

An hour later, you're hungry—for power!

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

What did the builder say after the foundation?

"Employees!"