Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...