Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
My life.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.