Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.
I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!