Worst Jokes Ever
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.