Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Word

    • What's an old Japanese man's last words?

    "Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

  • 2

    • Charity

    • I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

    All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

  • 1

    • Maid

    • The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

    The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

    Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

    Wife: "Who said that?"

    Maid: "Your husband."

    Wife: "Oh."

    Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

    Wife: "Who said that?"

    Maid: "Your husband."

    Wife: "Oh."

    Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

    Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

    Maid: "No, the gardener did."

    Wife: "So how much do you want?"

  • 1

    • Child

    • The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

    Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

    "Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

    "Yes," whispered the small voice.

    "May I talk with her?"

    The child whispered, "No."

    Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

    "Yes."

    "May I talk with him?"

    Again the small voice whispered, "No."

    Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

    "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

    Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

    "No, he's busy," whispered the child.

    "Busy doing what?"

    "Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

    Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

    "A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

    "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

    Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

    Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

    Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"