Worst Jokes Ever
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
My mom picked my major.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!