Worst Jokes Ever
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."