Worst Jokes Ever
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."