Worst Jokes Ever
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.