What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.
Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
"Officer, donโt arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...