A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
Worst Jokes Ever
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Tides right?
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
