Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
Why'd the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops