Worst Jokes Ever
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
Sister: "Has anyone seen my clothes?"
Brother: "They're still in my bed."
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
I got, I got, I got royalty inside my penis, or however the song goes.
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.
So I turned off the lights.
I have a crush on my sister!
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
What is the best item at a Mexican Burger King?
Hopper Jr.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."