Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Worst Jokes Ever
heeeeeheeeeeeeeenjkxbzskrf
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
Q: What did the AISH worker say after her throat was slashed?
A: Ckkkkkk
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
