Worst Jokes Ever
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Happy new year! 🥳
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.