Worst Jokes Ever

Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

Pedophiles smell good.

Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.

They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?

I don't know... I'm from China.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.