Worst Jokes Ever

You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.

You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.

I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!

What's great about an emo pizza?

It cuts itself. Yay!

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

Student: OOFT.

Teacher: Who are we missing?

Student: Your parents.

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

My humour is so dark that its life matters.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?

De-presso.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.