Worst Jokes Ever

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?

A bath bomb.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

Lol. It was just a prank, bro.

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

The emo kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

How do you call a black pilot?

A pilot, you racist.

Why did Michael Jackson run?

Because he lost his glove.

What's the best haircut?

Chemotherapy.

Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.